Be careful what you wish for
by delos13
Summary: We all know the old warning and we still fall into the trap. And the gods laugh at our expense.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: This story is a fruit of my imagination. The historical characters belong to themselves and all others to human inventiveness. The events (or likeness of them) described in the story never happened in reality.

Warnings: there are some for the future chapters but I can't put them in writing in order not to spoil the surprise. So, I'll tell you this – the moment you dislike something I wrote, simply stop reading.

A/N: This story was initially thought as one-off but I decided to break it in a few chapters since I don't know how much time it will take me to finish it. Readers' comments are highly valued and appreciated. I hope you find the reading interesting and pleasurable. The first chapter below is a teaser for what to come and, have no doubt, this story is about Alexander and Hephaistion.

_Epirus, 327/326 BC_

Olympias leaned on the palm of her hand and moved her body up. Then, shifting her legs in the wet grass and finding a foothold, she sat. In a dim light of dawn she picked up the sleeping forms of her maidservants lying in complete disarray around her. The bare limbs, peploi, himations, hairs, grass – all were mixed in erratically breathing and heaving mass that smelled of strong wine, strong spices and moisture saturated with mushrooms, vomit and other excrements. She waived her hand several times as if with this simple gesture she could drive the unpleasant smell away. This small physical act woke her senses even more and she became acutely aware of the disgusting sense of something foul that resided inside her mouth. She swirled her tongue trying to refresh herself but the effort almost made her retch. Feeling miserable she cast a desperate glance around and seeing what looked like a half empty wineskin, crawled towards it completely indifferent to the fact that somebody might see her in such poor state.

Gulping the remnants of the wine too quickly, she started to hiccup but mercifully it didn't last long. Then she realized that in her quest for the prized liquid of Dionysus, she left the circle of her faithful but completely drunk and foul smelling attendants and her lungs were actually breathing in rather fresh and slightly chilly morning air. She sat like that for a few moments, doing nothing and thinking of nothing and felt like her head started to clear and she didn't have the urge to throw up anymore.

Though feeling physically exhausted, her heart thumped with joy at the memory of yesterday celebration in Dionysus' honor. Back in Macedon, she never received this kind of support from Antipater, but back in her native Epirus, Aeacides, her cousin and regent after the death of Alexander, her brother, did everything to make her happy. She wondered sometimes if it was simply a ruse to lull her suspicions but if Aeacides harbored any ill will towards her, or her daughter, or her grandchildren, he had ample opportunities to kill them. And yet, not only he didn't do that but quite to the contrary, it seems he tried his best to gain Olympia's favor.

Her thoughts were interrupted by ringing laughter and young loud voices from somewhere in vicinity. She looked around and realized that the source of the commotion was coming from the wooded area just across the bubbling brook behind her back. Deciding to investigate, she stood up and covering her shoulders with someone's discarded himation, went in the direction of the noise. She waded into the brook and momentarily cringed as the chilling waters enveloped her ankles but she braved the cold and, carefully stepping from stone to stone, made it to the other side.

Almost immediately she saw what attracted her attention in the first place. A group of young and scantily dressed women were teasing an old man who sat on the ground with his back to the tree. He smiled at the taunts with a silliness of the drunk smacking his drooly lips each time somebody hit him with grapes or remnants of the honey cakes that girls fished out of their baskets. He was in his fifties or sixties, with patches of grey hair on his mostly bald scalp, small glistening eyes, bushy brows and bulby nose. Mostly naked, he sat with his legs spread apart, one hand was scratching his dirty knee and another trying to arouse his wobbly penis.

For some time Olympias remained unnoticed behind the girls who were having too much fun trying to hit the old man with improvised missiles and scabrous, obscene jokes. In any other time Olympias would reproach the young ladies for such behaviour, but it was the aftermath of Dionysus celebration and such attitude was normal. Besides, for some moments she was imagining such a festival happening in Macedon and the hated Antipater in the place of the old drunkard. The thought put a smile on her face and she was still indulging herself in this pleasant vision when Doriska, one of her serving women, tugged her at the himation.

"My queen, is everything all right?"

"Of course everything is all right," answered Olympias somewhat displeased at being interrupted. Her presence betrayed, she assumed a regal bearing and asked in a very authorative voice, "What's going on here?"

The taunting girls, themselves not very sober, still giggling and throwing things on the old man, explained to the Queen, that they were returning home from the evening revelry when this "drunk old goat" crossed their path and instead on continuing on his own way, mingled with them and started to fondle their breasts and even tried to mount one of them.

"We would welcome encounter with young, strong and beautiful Dionysus," grinned one of the girls, "but not this impotent Seilenos. Maybe we should find him a donkey and send him off on his journey."

"How dare you to offend one of Dionysus' followers?" suddenly thundered the Queen, her own lewd thoughts about Antipater in that role quickly forgotten. "Don't you know how dear his old teacher was to the god and what happened to those who defy him and despise his followers?"

"Then maybe you should take care of this lecherous thug and Dionysus will shower you in gold," responded one the girls who was too drunk to realize what danger she was putting herself in addressing Olympias in such a manner.

But before Olympias could react, Doriska chipped in, "I know this impudent wench. Her name is Pandea, she is the oldest daughter of the Dimnos, the baker, who supplies breads and pastries to the royal court. And that other is Philippa, daughter of the one eyed Petros, the smith." Doriska continued to point out and name each girl, providing the family background and what their fathers did for a living. Olympias listened carefully fixing each girl with a steady glance and making sure they realized that there was no escape from the Queen's anger and vengeance if she would deem it necessary.

"We meant no offence," stuttered frightfully one the girls. "Dionysus spirit is still in us from the yesterday's celebrations for which we have thank you, our Queen," the girl respectfully bowed.

"Very well then," Olympias decided to show clemency but still teach the girls a lesson, not so much for pestering the old man as for not showing her proper respect and recognizing her authority. "You must always remember that Dionysus should be revered in all his manifestations. Seilenos was Dionysus' foster father and much beloved by the god. It is not enough to show a proper respect to the god himself, but you should do it towards all his followers. You never know when Dionysus or any other god may choose to test your respect. As a punishment, I order you to take care of this old man. You are to clean him, to feed him and to take him to his home. And if he desires to fondle you, you should let him do so. And if he desires to taste the sweet spot hidden between your legs, you should accept it as will of god. And if he is unable to perform the deed, you should help him or satisfy him in other manner. Am I clear?"

"But….," started one of the girls not happy with the prospect; she was, however, hushed by her companions who sobered enough to realized that they wandered into dangerous waters and it was better to do as the Queen ordered.

O

_A few days later….._

Olympia put a few small globules of myrrh onto the incense burner in front of Dionysus sculpture. The prized spice wasn't as rare and expensive luxury as it was during Philip's time and before. Alexander's conquests opened routes to the fabled countries of the East and all the riches of the world were at his disposal. He showered his mother and his sister with all kinds of presents sparing no thought as to the cost of his gifts. If only…. Olympias hopes flew into now habitual direction. An heir. The vast Macedonian Empire that stretched now for the immeasurable amounts of stadia, still didn't have a viable heir. True, after many years of refusal, Alexander at last married. But whom? A nobody from nowhere!

Olympias heart began to thumping wildly, as it did each time she remembered her newly arranged daughter-in-law. "The lowest of Philip's concubines was of a higher status! How Alexander could do this to me?! To marry some dirty slut, a daughter of a barbarian brigand when he had two daughters of Darius in his captivity! How could you be so blind, Alexander? Or you did it just to mock me? How could you?!" distressed Olympias threw a few more droplets of myrrh into the incense burner and the flames, as if feeling her frustration, loudly singed and blazed up. The fire illuminated the beautiful face of Dionysus. The statue, once crafted by Leochares when he stayed in Pella, was Queen's favorite. She reverently brought it from Macedonian capital to Epirus as her most prised possession. She could stare and marvel at it for hours.

Sometimes she wondered if the statue was even more beautiful than the god himself. The enigmatic smile of the luxuriously full lips, the curve of the brows, the twinkle hidden behind the eyes; the turn of the bare shoulders, the play of the muscles on the lean body, the flight of the right arm extended in a fluid motion of gifting unknown followers with a succulent bunch of grapes, the left hand resting half peacefully half alluringly on the god's thigh with slender fingers pointing in the direction of his beautifully formed fallos drove Olympias into exalting state of reverent worshipping mixed with adoration and sexual desire.

"O Dionysus," she closed her eyes and prayed as reverently as she did for many years now, "if only you could grant me one single gift of Alexander producing a true, worthy heir to his enormous empire. If only the mother of this heir be of noble, royal descent, mighty parents and respected by everybody."

"Is it all you want?" a seductive yet strong male voice broke the silence.

Olympias opened her eyes and nearly swooned at the image of the god who came alive in front of her. A firm hand grabbed her arm and the gesture allowed her to straighten. No, the statue was still there but now it has a double in a living form of the immortal Olympian in a middle of her chamber.

"Am I dreaming?" asked the Queen not daring to think otherwise.

"If you wish so," answered the god. "One way or another, I am here to grant you a wish you so ardently desire."

"But why?" managed Olympia and shuddered. Sleeping or not, the presence of the god was unnerving. Besides, he still was holding her arm and the touch was sending impulses through her body that she wasn't able either name or control.

"You took a good care of Seilenos, he got lost again. It happens to him rather often."

"It really was Seilenos?" asked Olympias and looked the god in the eyes. She regretted it immediately. The luxurious brown jewels with swirls of incredible violet sparkles sucked her essence into the cloud of emotions and desires she wasn't able to conquer. In stupor, she raised her hand to touch the Dionysus' lips but the god took a step back and clicked his fingers in front of Olympias' eyes to break his spell.

"This is not why I am here," he declared with a maddening tinge of humor in his voice, "do I remind you so much of my father?"

"What?" not being in the direct contact with the god any longer, Olympias somewhat came to her senses. "I beg your pardon, I didn't meant it, I…I…", she stumbled looking for a proper thing to say.

Dionysus laughed, more contempt than compassion in his voice, "I don't usually mind the entertainment with younger girls, and thirty years earlier I might have enjoyed the pleasure of making you dance and moan on my weapon but not now. So, what is your true heart's desire?"

Olympias blushed at this direct insult but had enough of her wits around not to rebuke the god. "My true desire is for Alexander to have a strong son. I wish the mother be of the royal blood so that a fruit of their loins will be accepted by everybody as a lawful heir in the years to come."

"So be it," smiled Dionysus, his easy going manner back. He turned to his own statue and, outstretching his arm to the wreath on his head, broke away a few grapes with a leaf. At the god's touch, the marble branch in his hand became alive and he seductively slow fed the juicy berries into Olympias' mouth. In the throes of desire again, the Queen accepted the grapes in her mouth and, unable to restrain herself, started to suck on the god's frivolous fingers. But instead of godly flesh, she suddenly felt something coarse and leathery in her mouth. She brought her hand to it, and pulled out few wine leaves already partially chewed up by her strong teeth. She shook her head and looked in bewilderment into the semidarkness. There was nobody in her chamber. She whirled around, looking for a god, but he couldn't be seen anywhere.

Did she imagine things? She stared for a few moments into the flames dancing merrily in the burner full of myrrh balls. Then she carefully looked at the statue and circled it slowly still hoping to find the god in the shadows.

"It was simply a hallucination," Olympias was back at her usual cold and calculating self, "I am still tired from the recent celebrations and the incident with those village girls harassing the old man played stupid games with my imagination." She wanted to add more myrrh to the incense burner and then realized that the remnants of the chewed wine leaves were still in her right hand. She looked with apprehension at the wreath on Dionysus' head – the small branch of grapes was visibly broken from the place it was before.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: This story is a fruit of my imagination. The historical characters belong to themselves and all others to human inventiveness. The events (or likeness of them) described in the story never happened in reality.

Warnings: there are some for the future chapters but I can't put them in writing in order not to spoil the surprise. So, I'll tell you this – the moment you dislike something I wrote, simply stop reading.

O

Whatever sound made him to wake up wasn't there anymore or maybe it wasn't any sound at all. Maybe it was just the lateness of the hour. To confirm his suspicion, Hephaistion rolled around and stared at the empty space earlier occupied by Alexander.

"He did it again," murmured the general in the semidarkness. Whenever they spent a night together, the king would wake up in the wee hours of the morning and leave noiselessly to go around the camp and give orders. Hephaistion would be left to deal with over dotting pages of the king, secretaries and chamberlains waiting for instructions and generals hoping to catch the king in the beginning of the day. The most annoying of them was Eumenos, who would burst into the Alexander's tent as if it was his own and greet Hephaistion with his usual sarcasm, "so early and already waiting for the king's orders" knowing bloody well that that the general was there from the previous evening.

The distant noise of the waking camp was suddenly interrupted by the loud whisper of Alexander's pages, Andronikos, the eldest of all the pages and Krateros, the most recent addition. Hephaistion smiled remembering Alexander's vehement denial of the fact that the boy was chosen because of his name. From the moment the page entered the king's service, there was a rumor in the camp that the king picked up the boy to serve him so that his beloved general could order the page around and the poor boy could bear the grudge that Hephaistion held against the general with the same name. Alexander denied the fact in private, general Krateros showed his displeasure very much publicly though it amused many that the king and his general would succumb to such petty vengeance.

However, as the days and then weeks passed, it turned out that the page Krateros was the fastest, the smartest and the ablest of all the king's pages despite his short service record. Hephaistion was ashamed to admit to himself that he resented the fact but honestly, there was no denial that Krateros the page was an invaluable addition to the king's circle. Now, Krateros the general instead of showing displeasure, strutted like a peacock as if the page was his own son and nobody dared to tell him that the page actually worshiped Hephaistion and disliked his important namesake.

"Indeed, like children," smiled Hephaistion and decided to listen to the pages' argument before waking up and starting his day. To his utmost surprise, the pages' disagreement was whether to wake up the king or let him sleep longer.

"Did both pages fell asleep on duty and didn't notice when the king slipped pass them?" started to muse Hephaistion when the muffled retching from behind the curtains made him to forget everything and rush to the source of the sound. He flung the dividing material away and stared at the bent over the wash basin king, his one hand on the stomach and another around the utensil.

"What's wrong, Alexander?" asked with alarm Hephaistion, the thoughts of king being poisoned or sick from consuming too much wine the previous evening fought for domination in his mind.

The king didn't answer but retched again and flailed one of his hands indicating his desire to be left alone. The picture of the previous evening meal in the company of the selected friends surfaced in Hephaistion's mind and he realized with dread that the king wasn't drinking any wine and barely touched any food.

"You have been poisoned!" the general screamed not recognizing his own voice. He was about to holler to the pages to bring Philip immediately but Alexander, given respite between two bouts of retching, vehemently shook his head and hissed, "I wasn't, just keep your mouth shut and don't you dare to call anybody here!"

Hephaistion completely ignored king's orders and shouted Krateros' name but before the page had time to appear, Alexander sprung up from the basin and with incredible force punched Hephaistion in the shoulder almost knocking him down to the floor. Hephaistion, not expecting assault from Alexander, staggered under the heavy blow but managed to stay on his feet. A few moments later, Krateros the page materialized at the scene and looked uncertainly from the king to the general.

"General Hephaistion slipped and not seeing me here called for your help," in angry voice announced the king, "Leave us now and don't disturb unless I," the king stressed the pronoun, "call you."

"Yes," hurriedly agreed the page but dared to ask, "What about your orders from the last evening to bring general Leonnatos to you as soon as you wake up?"

"That's the only exception, now go."

"Of course," agreed the page and quickly left the premises.

"I told you not to call anybody," muttered the king between his teeth, "do my orders mean nothing to you?"

"Screw your orders if they cause your death, I am going to…." Hephaistion turned around and was about to exit when Alexander grabbed him strongly by the arm.

"Will you listen to me, you stubborn asshole! I told you, I wasn't poisoned."

"How do you know?" angrily asked Hephaistion trying to wiggle from the king's iron grip.

"I would be dead by now if I have been poisoned, don't you know how quickly it happens?"

"The poisons we are familiar with – yes. But here in India, in this unfamiliar place – who knows what kinds of poisons they have?" Hephaistion continued to press his point and tried unsuccessfully to free himself from the king's grasp.

"I told you, I am not poisoned," insisted Alexander, "why it is so difficult to believe me?"

"How do you know for sure?"

"I know," assured him Alexander.

"Tell me," insisted Hephaistion. "I am not in a mood to make arrangements for your funeral!"

"Don't be so dramatic. If I have been poisoned, I would be dead by now."

"What do you mean, "by now"? It's not the first time you felt sick, was it? How many days you've been vomiting? Are there any other symptoms? Why I don't know anything about it?"

"I am not sure, a few weeks may be. It started a month or so after we left Nysa. I guess my body is trying to get rid of all that excess wine we drank in Dionysus' honor. It only happens in the morning, this is why nobody knows about it and I prefer to keep it that way. I don't want the same kind of panic to grip our troops as you just exhibited. And really, Hephaistion, when do you learn, if I say no, it really means – no!"

"This is why you've been throwing all those lame excuses every evening when I wanted to stay with you? You didn't want me to know?" there was more certainty than questioning in the general's tone.

"Yes," admitted Alexander and let go of Hephaistion's arm, "and my excuses weren't lame. I wasn't in the mood for sex and didn't feel like explaining it to you."

"You could simply say you didn't feel well," grumbled Hephaistion and involuntary started to nurse his arm that ached from Alexander's iron grip, "we agreed long time ago not to hide things from each other."

"Like when you tried to hide your wound after Gaugamela?"

"That's completely different matter. I didn't want you be concerned right after the battle. You had other things to attend to."

"Quite the opposite – it's completely the same matter. You didn't want me get upset, I didn't want you to get upset. Look, you almost scared my poor page to death."

"Krateros is not that easily scared."

"Which one of them?" sheepishly asked Alexander and smiled.

Hephaistion laughed and shook his head, "Both."

"Am I forgiven now and may resume my kingly duties?"

"You may," generously agreed Hephaistion, "on the condition that I am staying with you tonight, and if I am not satisfied…."

"Not satisfied with what?" asked Alexander and mischievous sparkles danced in his eyes.

"With the state of your health," clarified Hephaistion. "And if you are too tired to have sex, you can simply say so, we are not fifteen anymore and don't have to prove anything to each other."

"Aha," Alexander didn't feel nauseous any longer and decided to tease his lover as a revenge for his earlier overreaction, "so that wild nonstop sex aggression you displayed towards me in Nysa wasn't for the purpose of proving to me your stamina and, should I say, display of versatility in the ways to possess me?"

"I thought you liked it!" Hephaistion challenged his king.

"I certainly did," Alexander confirmed with a happy smile.

"In that case, I did it to show you my love and nothing else. And I am sure your vomiting has nothing to do with our lovemaking. I am going to check out with Philip if anybody else complained to him of the same symptoms. "

"Don't waste your time, I told you, there is no reason to worry. If you get nothing better to do, I have three unanswered letters from my mother. I hoped you can deal with them on my behalf sooner or later. One is especially excruciatingly long. Can you imagine, the same time we were celebrating at Nysa, Aeacides arranged festivities in honour of Dionysus as well, I would never have guessed he wanted so badly to be on good terms with my mother. She never was the one for the long descriptions but here she overdid herself. To tell you the truth, I stopped reading after the first few sentences but may Hera give you the patience to read the whole scroll and write some appropriate response."

Hephaistion was about to reply that he never knew Hera was a patron goddess of patience but at that moment Krateros politely coughed behind the curtains and announced the arrival of Leonnatos.

Alexander plucked his morning robe from the hook and throwing it around his shoulders, drew back the curtain that divided the washing room from the bedroom. Hephaistion was still naked.

Leonnatos stood in the middle of the bedroom, fully dressed and judging from the dirt and water on his legs, awake long time ago. It was obvious that he already observed the undone bed and noticed that king wasn't its only occupant during the night. Giving his morning greetings to the king and the general in a cheerful voice, Leonnatos noted with a smile, "I came here as soon as I finished my rounds, but I'll try to be more efficient next time and won't let Hephaistion to beat me in greeting you first in the morning."

"Since when did you take to repeating stupidities after Eumenos?" Hephaistion asked with irritation and started to dress up ignoring everybody's presence.

Leonnatos opened his mouth for some sort of reply but Alexander said, "don't bother with platitudes. What I need is to know the state of readiness of my camp." Alexander sat on the folding chair and indicated to his bodyguard on duty to take another one. While Hephaistion was dressing, Krateros was folding the bed and putting other things away making the tent to be ready to be collapsed and packed for the day's journey.

O

During the day, Hephaistion's mind was constantly going back to the morning events but each time he managed to calm down repeating to himself like mantra that if Alexander has been indeed poisoned, he would be dead long time ago. He wasn't very much convinced by his king argument that his lover's body was simply ridding itself from overconsumption of the wine in Nysa, but instead he thought that eating unfamiliar food and drinking bad water was far more probable culprit. Before they set up a camp that evening in the new location, Hephaistion and Alexander saw each other a few times in passing and exchanged a few words. It those moments, the general didn't notice anything suspicious in the king's behaviour and there were no visible signs of any sort of malady.

Somewhat relieved by the knowledge that Alexander didn't show any signs of being sick, Hephaistion dedicated the evening to the numerous responsibilities that were assigned to him by his beloved and when he felt any further efforts won't bear any meaningful fruits, he found his way to Alexander's tent hoping to find the king here. Indeed, he was informed by Krateros the page that Alexander was inside for quite some time and recently retired asking not to be disturbed unless there was some sort of emergency. Stepping inside, Hephaistion found the king fast asleep, spread diagonally across the camp bed meant for two. The general sighed and started to undress, informing Krateros that his duty for the day was done and he can have some rest.

In the morning Alexander, already fully dressed, woke up Hephaistion with a brilliant smile and affirmation that he felt rested, full of energy and in excellent mood and health.

"Still," he added mischievously, "I don't mind if you spent a few more nights watching over me. I like to feel the warmth of your body when I wake up even if I have to suffer you kicking me with your feet and arms all night long!"

"And you snore!" Hephaistion informed him petulantly but promised to come over.

Next morning, however, wasn't as cheerful. Alexander had a severe bout of retching and Hephaistion felt miserable because he didn't know how to help his lover except for being there for him. A few weeks passed with intermittent mornings of Alexander feeling absolutely fine and being miserable. One evening, realizing that Alexander's disease, or whatever it was, was not going away, Hephaistion decided to ignore king's orders and go to see Philip at last, maybe their trusted doctor could come up with some explanation and hopefully remedy. His plan was forestalled by Perdiccas who caught up with him asking where he was going.

Hephaistion was still too far from Philip's tent so his destination wasn't very obvious.

"What can be so important that you're ignoring the company of your friends and your king for so many days?" asked the general.

"I am not ignoring," replied Hephaistion with surprise, "why would you say so?"

"You were absent from our evening meals for Hades only knows how long. What's the matter?"

"I am busy."

"What kind of response is that? As busy as you are, you have to eat sometimes."

"Of course I eat but I don't have time to spend hours in idle conversations."

"Are you saying the rest of us have that time? You are the only one busy and we don't have our own obligations to fulfil?"

"Perdiccas, if it wasn't you, I would just simply turn away and ignore this stupid outburst."

"If it wasn't you, Hephaistion, I wouldn't even bother talking about it. Now, whatever you intended to do, can wait, you're coming with me."

"No, it can't wait, it really can't. But I promise that tomorrow, I will show up."

"Very well," said Perdiccas in a reconciliatory tone and looked Hephaistion over, "is everything fine? Do you need my help with anything?"

"Nothing is out of the ordinary," lied Hephaistion with a rather easy conscience, "how are the things with you?"

"I am absolutely fine," replied Perdiccas but Hephaistion had no way of knowing whether it was indeed the case; despite his reputation of being straightforward and hot headed, Perdiccas could put on as good mask as anybody else.

Parting ways, Hephaistion took somewhat a long route towards Philip's tent staying here and there to exchange a few words with soldiers and officers. If Perdiccas decided to follow him secretly, and that was not difficult in the relative darkness of the camp, Hephaistion didn't want his friend to know what was that urgent matter he insisted he wanted to attend.

However, Philip wasn't in his tent, the doctor's assistants informed the general that their chief went to make some rounds and they didn't know when he was going to be back. Contemplating for a short time his options, Hephaistion decided to take Perdiccas on his offer and join the generals' evening meal. When he appeared at the dining tent, the repast was well under way and all the present were enjoying their food with exception of the king who didn't even have a plate before him. "Is he not eating because he doesn't want to vomit everything back in the morning?" with concern thought Hephaistion. "I should have come to these meals earlier to be aware of what was going on." He was on his way to join Alexander when he was stopped by Perdiccas who forcefully dragged him to take place near him.

"I am glad you decided to show up today, and you timing is perfect."

"Why my timing is perfect?" asked Hephaistion absentmindedly and, picking up a piece of meat from his friend's plate, he suddenly realized that he was really hungry.

"Because I think Alexander's meal is almost ready," explained Perdiccas.

"Great, then I go and pluck some food from his plate."

"I would strongly advise against it and clearly, you missed our company for far too long. I guess Alexander's tastes for evening and morning meals are quite different."

"I don't understand. What do you mean?"

"What kind of breakfast you share with Alexander in the morning?"

"We don't share morning meals," replied Hephaistion mentally commenting that in the recent mornings any sort of meal was very far from Alexander's mind.

"Well, in that case," Perdiccas was about to say something but at that moment Hephaistion saw Alexander waving in his direction and inviting him to come, so he stood up from the couch where he was sitting and excusing himself from Perdiccas' presence, went to take his place near the king.

Alexander was evidently in a good mood, sharing jokes and smiles with everybody present. His face lit up when Hephaistion's shoulder touched his and he whispered conspiratorially in his ear, "Glad to see you joined me. I hope you'll give me moral support. You left me alone for so many evening meals and my generals took to mocking my choice of food. I trust you are hungry?"

"Why?" Hephaistion asked with rising suspicion. Somewhat forewarned by Perdiccas, Hephaistion became apprehensive. He found it difficult to consume Indian food because army's cooks had to adjust their recipes to what was locally available and it was not exactly to general's taste.

"They don't understand local delicacies," explained Alexander, "most of my officers even refuse to taste it and what they taste, they don't like. They don't adapt as easily as I hoped. I understand that many local habits and traditions may look and sound strange but the food is excellent here. I like it far better that Queen's Ada endless stream of sweets. Here, the first dish arrived; there is enough for two of us."

Hephaistion looked suspiciously into the bowl that was placed before the king. It was clearly some kind of meat dressed heavily with sauce.

"Try it," Alexander pushed the bowl closer to Hephaistion.

"What's inside?" asked Hephaistion without much enthusiasm.

"Don't you trust me?"

"I don't know. It doesn't look or smell familiar and Perdiccas already warned me that you recently developed a very strange taste for food. Maybe that's why you throw up almost every morning."

"I will order Perdiccas to mind his own business. And you are wrong, I started vomiting before I tried this new recipes."

"New recipes?" worriedly asked Hephaistion.

"Yes, new recipes," confirmed Alexander, "I can't stand bland food any longer, I want something spicy."

"How spicy?" inquired Hephaistion with even more concern.

"Fine!" Alexander became suddenly angry, "if you don't want to share meal with me, just say so." With those words he pulled bowl back to himself and started to wolf its contents.

"I didn't say I didn't want to try, I just was curious," reconciliatory said Hephaistion and picking up a piece of meat, put it in his mouth.

Even the excruciating pain from the wounds that Hephaistion sustained before could not compare with the assault that his senses had to withstand the moment Alexander's special dish ended up in his mouth. It was incredibly spicy burning the insides of his mouth and throat because in involuntary spasm of pain he tried to swallow the offending piece. In addition to being hot, it also had some unpleasant consistency and the taste was outrageously obnoxious.

Feeling his eyes filling up with tears that his body involuntary produced, he rushed from the table knowing that any moment he was going to throw up whatever he ate. Covering his mouth with the palm of his right hand, he ran outside trying to supress at least for a few moments this body's natural reaction to such an offence. Getting to the fresh air and not caring about who was watching, he vomited the contents of his mouth and probably by now the stomach but there was no immediate relief. His mouth felt as if all the menagerie of Babylon zoo decided to use it as a deposit for their excrements.

"What's wrong, my love?" with concern asked Alexander who followed Hephaistion the moment the general took off.

Hephaistion didn't respond but opened his mouth as wide as he could, trying to suck in as much fresh air as was possible. It didn't help and moment later he was vomiting again.

"Here, take this," Perdiccas appeared at his side and gave him a piece of cloth that was dripping with some sort of liquid. "Wrap your fingers with it and clean the insides of your mouth. It will help somewhat."

Seeing the wisdom of his friend's advice, Hephaistion did as he was told and was rewarded with fresh and somewhat pleasant taste in his mouth. A page that waited nearby in attendance, passed him a waste basket and Hephaistion discarded the used material with disgust. Answering his friend silent appeal, Perdiccas gave him another wet cloth. Hephaistion used it blissfully again and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Drink this," Perdiccas signed with his hand to another page who gave a cup to Hephaistion. "Wine with mild spices," the general answered a silent question from his friend, "and don't worry, not _that_ type of spices." Hephaistion emptied the contents of the cup and immediately felt the warm pleasant taste of the liquid enveloping his mouth and sliding down his throat.

"Better now?" asked Perdiccas, mixed tone of amusement and concern betrayed his attitude to the whole affair. "Don't say that I didn't warn you."

Alexander pretended to get offended and visibly pouted. "I don't understand why almost nobody likes what I eat. I find my new diet quite to my taste. Now, if you excuse me, I am still hungry. Are you coming back?" the king looked at his generals.

"I just want to catch a few fresh gulps of air," Hephaistion informed his lover.

"I'll stay with him just in case," echoed his friend Perdiccas.

Alexander nodded in agreement and disappeared inside the tent.

"Do you know what was inside that abomination? No, wait, don't tell me or I am going to vomit again," said Hephaistion with visible disgust. "And you're saying Alexander eats this crap every day?"

"No, each day different sort of crap and you didn't try his desert yet but if you hurry…."

"Shut up!"

"As you wish. But since you've asked, I think the king ate today the same dish he forced general Kennos to try a several days ago. You are lucky to have me, nobody was there to help Kennos when he threw up."

"Well, thanks for watching my back. But Alexander said that almost nobody liked his newly acquired taste in food. Did he mean that some poor soul was stoical enough to pretend really liking it?!"

"No pretending. Apsara likes it quite a lot, though she is the only one I know who actually enjoys it."

"Who is Apsara?"

"My mistress."

"I thought Alexander ordered all the mistresses to be left back in Gyrkania palace. Ptolemy is still bemoaning Thais' absence."

"You clearly not in the know on the subject," smiled Perdiccas. "Alexander allowed everybody to bring only one mistress. After all, our new queen Roxana needs a company. And Ptolemy left Thais behind because she was heavily pregnant; she delivered another son for Ptolemy more than a month ago and he told me he was going to bring them both here as soon as the baby was old enough to travel. My beloved Apsara…."

"Beloved?"

"Well, I use the term more widely than you," scowled Perdiccas, "So, Apsara is my very recent conquest. I met her at the town whose name I already forgot but she captivated my heart and body instantly. I thought I knew everything on the subject of making love to a woman, but you can't imagine what tricks she showed me in bed. I felt like a twelve years old boy who never was with a woman before. It is too bad that despite all her experience, she got pregnant so soon. I think it happened in Nysa and Dionysus is not going to receive any thanks from me for that. Though sometimes she is really into wild sex, but mostly she is too tired or not in the mood. And her moods…..I am going reveal a secret to you, you're lucky that you're completely into boys, or should I say, one boy in particular…"

Hephaistion gave Perdiccas a menacing look, it was not a way to talk about the king, but his friend completely ignored the threat and continued, "you don't have to cope with the moods of pregnant women. I am not talking of course of one night stands whom I never see afterwards, but my permanent mistresses… I'll tell you, I would prefer to march at night during pouring rain or cross with Alexander yet another desert, but not those moods…..Anyway, where were we?"

"Alexander's strange taste for food."

"Ah, yes, of course. So, the pregnant women; most of them also develop this ridiculous taste for food and smells, and then they want something urgently one moment, as if their whole life depends on it, and you go like a last fool and find it for them, and when you return with the damned thing they look at you with surprise and ask, "what's that? Why did you bring me this?" I hate dealing with pregnant women!"

"I didn't realize you deal with them that much," chuckled Hephaistion.

"Well, stuff happens," mumbled Perdiccas. "And then they produce those cute babies who look exactly like you and your heart melts. You should try it one day."

"One day…." Hephaistion voice drifted.

"Anyway, " continued Perdiccas, "it comes as no surprise that Apsara likes Alexander's food."

"At least she has an excuse of being pregnant. What excuse does Alexander have?"

"He is a king?"

"Oh, piss off," Hephaistion shoved his friend half mockingly, half in honest.

"I understand that you rarely see him as one," Perdiccas ignored his friend outburst, "but for the rest of us, mere mortals, he is a king and we don't question his choices or decisions."

"I am sure Philotas and Black Kleitos would disagree," reminded Hephaistion.

"Well, Philotas was either traitor or idiot, and I really don't want to talk about Black Kleitos. Anyway, are you coming back?"

"Nah, I need more fresh air to recuperate."

"Afraid that Alexander will force on you another culinary masterpiece?" mocked Perdiccas.

"Get lost," Hephaistion grinned at his friend.

"Here, take this," Perdiccas fished something from his clothes and gave Hephaistion a small leather pouch.

"What's that?"

"Some local herb, it's called…. darn, I'm always forgetting its name but anyway, you can't pronounce it properly without consuming a whole python of wine. You have to chew it for some time and then to spit out, it has a nice taste and it lingers in your mouth for a long time. Also, I've heard, it helps with digestion, so if your stomach disagreed with whatever morsel of Alexander's delicacy made it down you bowels, it will help. "

"Thanks," Hephaistion took the present and putting a small pinch of the dry herbs into his mouth, started to chew it carefully. His friend was right, it had a pleasant refreshing taste and after spitting the first batch, Hephaistion reached for another one.

"You are right, good stuff. I will send one of my pages to you for more. Now, go back to Alexander before he becomes suspicious and comes back searching for both of us."

"Coward," smiled Perdiccas and went back to the tent.

Hephaistion went through the camp in hopes of meeting Philip but most of the camp's fires were already extinguished and everybody was getting ready to settle for the night. When the general reached doctor's tent, he was told that Philip returned some time ago but already was asleep. One of physician's assistants asked if the matter was urgent enough to wake up Philip but Hephaistion decided against it.

"No need, but I want to talk to him tomorrow. I will come for a visit in the evening when we set up the camp. Make sure Philip is waiting for me."

After listening politely for the long response that was possible to summarize in a short "yes", Hephaistion nodded and went to Alexander's tent. But even before the familiar construction came into view, he bumped into one of Alexander's pages who was apparently searching for him all over the camp.

"Alexander….is….looking for …you," page tried to catch his breath but it came in rasps, the poor boy was evidently running hard.

"Hey, slow down, you found me. Did something happen? Wait, don't respond, just try to slow your breath first."

"I am fine," the boy shook his head, "at least now that I found you. Nothing happened. I think. But Alexander asked for you and when nobody knew where you were, he got mad. Please come with me."

"Of course, but you can take it slowly," advised Hephaistion and leaving the page behind, sprinted towards his destination. He found Alexander madly pacing in his tent.

"Where have you been?" screamed the king when he saw his beloved. To Hephaistion utmost surprise, he saw fear, not anger, in Alexander's dilated eyes.

"I needed some fresh air, didn't Perdiccas tell you?" asked Hephaistion whisking Alexander from the common area of his tent into the part that served as bedroom. He suspected that Alexander was going to melt down for the reasons yet unknown to him and the general didn't want any witnesses of the event.

Alexander allowed himself to be led away but he continued to clutch to his lover even when they were safely alone.

"What's wrong?" asked Hephaistion with concern when Alexander remained silent.

"You left me alone," pitifully complained Alexander.

"I didn't leave you alone, you were among so many people."

"I don't care about other people, I care about you. You went away with Perdiccas!"

"I didn't go away with Perdiccas. He came out after you to help me. Alexander, what is wrong?" Hephaistion, sensing that the king wasn't pretending and making fun of him, lovingly put his hands on Alexander's cheeks. It was then that he noticed that the king's lips were trembling and unshed tears pooled in his eyes ready to make their way down Alexander's face.

"Everything is wrong," with quivering voice whispered Alexander, "you don't love me anymore."

"I don't love you? Why would you say such a thing? I can't imagine my life without you, you are my heart, my soul, my reason for existing. Why would you ever doubt it?" Hephaistion became concerned with Alexander's sudden exhibit of insecurity.

"You say so, but when was the last time you made love to me? Do I look ugly and old?"

"Alexander, this is ridiculous. You said it yourself, you were in no mood for sex."

"It was then but this is now. You come every evening to my bed too late, knowing very well that I will be asleep and so you don't have to bother with me. Did you find a young pretty body to satisfy your needs? Is it a boy or a girl?"

"Don't be ridiculous!" exclaimed Hephaistion. "What got into you? What boy or girl? I never needed and never will need anybody but you, don't you know that?"

"I don't know. I want to believe you, but….why are you avoiding me?"

"Alexander, I am not avoiding you, why would you say so?"

Suddenly, Alexander happily smiled and asked in a very sexy voice, "So, you still want me?"

"Of course I want you, what kind of question is that?" and to prove what he just said Hephaistion leaned forward and circling his hand around his beloved head, started to play with his curls, knowing from the years of experience that Alexander loved him doing so. Alexander blissfully sighed and teasing his lover, seductively swirled the tip of his tongue around his own lips. Then, without any warning, he attacked Hephaistion, knocking him down to the floor and forcing his tongue inside Hephaistion's mouth. But a moment later he sprang back leaving bewildered Hephaistion sprawled on the floor.

"Ew, what's that disgusting smell and taste in your mouth?" Alexander spitted out invisible offenders and grimaced with revulsion.

"What?" Hephaistion tried to process what was going on. "What are you talking about? What smell?"

"In your mouth. What did you eat?"

"What did I eat? I ate nothing after that delicacy of yours. I am not sure I could. Perdiccas gave me some herbs to chew to dispel the taste."

"Perdiccas again. You two spend too much time together. Is he courting you? Do you two sleep together?" Alexander's meek behaviour moments earlier was substituted with sudden rage.

"Perdiccas and I sleep together?! Are you out of your fucking mind? Alexander, do you even understand what you're saying?"

"I do understand. You value his friendship more than you value my love!" insisted the king.

"Alexander," Hephaistion sighed. "Calm down. Let's forget Perdiccas and talk about us."

"I don't want to talk, I want make love to you."

"I am perfectly fine with that."

"But I can't! You smell of some herb!"

Hephaistion rolled his eyes, "Then what do you suggest we do?"

"You make love to me," offered Alexander.

"I am perfectly fine with that too," smiled Hephaistion. "Can I start now?"

"Yes, but I want you to do what I tell you, I have certain desires….."

"All right," agreed Hephaistion, "and what are those?"

"Can we undress first?"

"Of course," Hephaistion made an effort not to laugh, the whole situation seemed ridiculous to him but he followed king's wishes. After he was done, he looked expectedly at Alexander who already got rid of his clothes and sprawled on the floor leaning of his elbows and wiggling his toes as if he was a small boy enjoying the sand on the beach.

"Are we making love on the floor?" asked Hephaistion feeling more amused than aroused from Alexander's strange behaviour.

"Yes, is something wrong with it?" with challenge asked the king.

"Nothing wrong," answered Hephaistion and frowned.

"What's the matter?"

"You know, I think you put on some weight," pensively responded Hephaistion. Though he and Alexander slept in the same bed every night for more than a month now, the king was always asleep when Hephaistion arrived and the general didn't see him naked for a long time.

"What are you saying?" dangerous sparks lit up in the king's eyes.

"I am just stating the obvious. I think all this bizarre food is not good for you."

"I don't tell you what to eat," tersely replied Alexander. "Admit it, you don't want me, you stopped wanting me long time ago. Do you sleep with anybody else? Who is that, I will kill the bastard!"

"Stop it, Alexander. I don't sleep with anybody and I don't want anybody but you. Now, I thought you wanted me to make love to you. How about we dedicate out time together to this far more pleasant activity?"

"Fine. But first, go and bring some honey."

"Honey? Why?" Hephaistion asked, surprised.

"Why are you questioning my every word? Lately, you became unbearable, Hephaistion, son of Amyntor. I don't know why I continue to love you. And to prove that I love you more than you love me, I am going to answer that stupid question of yours. I want you to smear honey all over my body and then lick it off."

Hephaistion stared at Alexander in bewilderment, "You want me to do what?"

"I want you cover me in honey and then lick it away. I feel aroused just thinking about it. And….can you bring different sorts of honey, I wonder if it would feel the same when you lick it away."


End file.
